Over the past several weeks, I have received many emails from individuals congratulating me on this new journey to encourage women to live their most abundant life. I am extremely appreciative of the stories others have shared regarding the journey to do the things God is leading them to do. Just as there are women who are working to fulfill the purpose that God has given them, there are many who are holding on to ideas I assume to be God given. It is exciting to hear that God has gifted so many people with ideas that can make this world a better place. However, I also understand how easy it is to let those ideas lie dormant in the secret places of our hearts and minds.
Please understand that I had no intention of making this my second blog post, but as I read message after message, I began to ponder the reasoning behind not moving on ideas that God has given. I wanted to understand what causes some to pause, while others stop dead in their tracks. Whether hindered by fear or disappointment, they are essentially paralyzed. As I asked God to provide insight on this, He began to reveal to me just how dependent some of us, myself included, have become on disappointment. I have to honestly admit that I am so used to disappointment that it is hard for me to get excited about things until they actually happen. That means it's hard for me to move on ideas because they are just that, ideas and not reality. As a result of this dependence, I don't often share with others things that are on the horizon for me for fear those things won't happen.
When I began to explore my dependence on disappointment, I once again had to revisit that hurtful place in my childhood. I can remember sitting and waiting for hours to go for a weekend visit with my mother. The court had ordered every other weekend visitations and I looked forward to that time like a child waits for Christmas. There were many Friday nights that didn't end the way I wanted them to. At times, for whatever reason, my mother would not make it to pick me up. The pain and agony that I felt as a result of being let down was devastating to me as a child. Can you imagine waiting with great expectation for Christmas only to discover that for one reason or another Santa wasn't able to make it? After so many let downs, eventually you stop expecting him to visit, right? At least I did. That's how I felt when my mom didn't show up for our visits. Although I understand that sometimes circumstances where beyond her control, it didn't make the pain any less hurtful. I also suspect my dad played a large part in controlling our visits, since eventually, he stopped letting me visit my mother altogether, despite the court ruling. Either way, the disappointment that I experienced taught me how to have low expectations for anything in life.
Because disappointment is my first expectation, I put grave limitations on everything. I often hesitate moving forward with thoughts and ideas, never considering the impact my actions or inaction will have on others. I imagine that I am not the only one to experience disappointment to the extent that it impairs my ability to move forward or get excited about things. While your childhood experiences may not be like mine, I wonder if there are things from your past that you have allowed to stifle your productivity as well. Many of us have allowed past disappointments to kill the dreams within us rather than allowing those experiences to fuel our passion and push us into our destiny. We often times allow those hurtful things to take hold of our hearts and minds to the extent that we are unable to hope in anything greater than what we have already experienced. Along side disappointment is that old familiar friend, FEAR. In addition to expecting disappointment, we fear that we will be unjustly judged by others. As a result of these feelings, we build up a wall in our minds and determine that a thing is too hard, not that important or worth our effort without ever giving it a second thought. Why is that? Are we not created in the image of greatness? Shouldn't our experiences, therefore line up with that of greatness? Fear is designed to rob us of ever reaching our greatest potential. There is a saying that FEAR is nothing more than False Evidence Appearing Real. For years, I talked myself out of doing things simply because of fear. Whether fear of being judged, fear of failure, or the fear of being let down, the risk was far too great a chance to take. There was no real evidence that the things I feared were true, I had simply convinced myself they were. I can't tell you how many times I have talked myself out of things simply because I was afraid.
We often put false limitations on ourselves and our expectations are much lower than the reality of potential that lies within us. As you may know, I recently had the opportunity to be a part of the book collaboration When Married Women Speak. I had so many people ask me if I was excited about the book launch and then look surprised when I gave a much more relaxed answer than they were expecting. I now have a better understanding of where this relaxed response comes from. I have never admitted before now that I have lived my entire life missing out on opportunities to celebrate my own greatness for fear of being disappointed and being judged by others. I have to wonder if others have had similar experiences and I wonder if the real reason that so many have not moved forward with their God given ideas is also for fear of disappointment and judgement.
While fear has the potential to grip us to the point of suffocation, it also has the potential to push us into our destiny if we allow it to do so. Can you imagine how great an outcome we would have if we used fear to relentlessly push us toward greatness? Can you imagine how many victories we would have if we moved every time God spoke to our hearts? Would we still be stuck in the same places time after time or would we be so far along that we would no longer recognize that fearful soul that was once too frightened to move? What do we allow the enemy to steal from us and from others when we don't move on the things that God is asking us to do? One of my co-authors from the book once said, "When you don't tap into what God has told you to do, you deprive the world of your greatness" (Maya Smith - Edmonds). That is so true! Who are we to rob others of the greatness that God has placed inside of us?
What are you holding on to that God is asking you to share with others? Perhaps it's a business, perhaps it's a book or maybe a testimony. Maybe it's something as simple as a thought or gesture. Whatever it is, I know that sometimes it can feel like it's too big for you and that the responsibility should be reserved for someone else. I also understand that sometimes you can feel as if what you have to share can wait until you have all of your I's dotted and your T's crossed, or that others may not feel about it what you feel. However, I want to encourage you to actively explore the ideas that God has given you. I know that it is challenging to think that an idea will have the impact that you assume it should have, but how will you know that it won't have a great impact unless you put all fear aside and move on it? This blog site is the perfect example of this concept in practice. This is literally the first idea that God gave me that I did not hesitate to move on. What's different you ask? I finally decided to put my fear to flight! I don't know the impact it will have, but the fulfillment I feel from the obedience of moving on this idea is indescribable. While I hope that many are blessed by the content found on this site, I have also come to the realization that if one person is helped by what I have to say then I have done what God asked me to do and that is the greatest reward.
Whatever it is that God has placed on your heart, I pray that you find the strength and courage to move on it so that all that are attached to your assignment can be blessed. Luke 19:26 tells us that..."and to those who use well what they are given, even more will be given. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away." I pray that abundance finds you as you pour out those things that God has given you to be a blessing to His kingdom.
Reflection:
What ideas has God given that you have not moved on?
What benefit will it have for others?
Will it also be freeing for you?
Who will miss out if you don't share?
Do you see dependence on disappointment as a factor in why you haven't moved forward on ideas?
Prayer of Release:
Father in heaven, I thank you for your love and faithfulness to us, for your kindness and everlasting favor. I thank you for creating us in your image. I thank you for not giving us a spirit of fear but for equipping us with love, power and a sound mind that allows us to move in grace. I thank you that we can walk in the truth of what we know in your word and that we don't have to allow the fears and disappointments of the past to dictate our future in you. Father, show us how and when to move. Show us how to follow your lead. Help us to understand that you don't give us ideas for the sake of our own pleasure, but that you have chosen us as vessels to be used here on earth. I thank you that every soul that is tied to our assignment will experience all that you desire for them to experience based on our obedience. I ask for your forgiveness for allowing fear to cripple our actions and I thank you for grace to move forward in your will. In Jesus' name, Amen.